President Wrestler

In all the fun of this current election, you may allege forgotten some of the earlier candidates who fell under the cold, subjection mitt of Mitt. Yes there was Newt and Huntsman and Bachmann, still do you remember Jonathon The Impaler Sharkey? Of course you dont, hes insane. Jon Sharkey, withal known as cranky Adonis Flash, is a semi-pro wrestler, a Republican, a proponent of decapitation for criminals, a fan of girls 19 and under, and a vampire. Now thats a resume. And hes been investigated by the Secret Service for threatening to impale George W. Bush. His 2008 safari blog has posts that are mostly about declaring a wicked holy war against Muslims and something about turning an 18-year-old girl into a vampire. Also a lot of death threats against people who scoff him, so if I go missing, please question to each one handlebar-mustachioed vampires you can find. If hes recently sheared, adept look for the guy who seems to be in as good shape as Steven Seagal, merel y with a confused, teenage girlfriend. Ill probably be OK, though -- Ill erect blame it all on Adam Tod Brown, because I think I can outrun him.

Sharkey, as a conservative, ex-military Satanist vampire who likes teenage girls, would be a oftentimes hands-on president than were used to, and apparently would lease killed store Laden himself if hed been president at the time, which seems nice? Im non sure. Im not sure if that was part of his political platform, either. Can a presidential hopeful just list the accomplishments of other presidents and try to arrest them with fictional plans for how they would bring made them better? When not drinkable blood twice a week, Sharkey is m aking plans for his America. If you guessed ! that he supports efficacious immigration but would execute illegal immigrants by impaling them, you have a stunning gift for guessing fucked up shit. If you guessed that hes besides pro-life, you appreciate irony. Read more: The 5 Most irritated Attempts to Be a Vampire in Real sort | Cracked.com...If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website: OrderEssay.net

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